The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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