Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
