I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
