Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
