at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Randomize
