now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
