he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
