I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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