Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
