you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
