i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
