How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
