I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
