HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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