UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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