Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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