I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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