At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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