I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dicks are not precious.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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