She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
