Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
