would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We talked him into tasing himself.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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