i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
