at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
