need another drink. this is the easiest way
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
