Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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