went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
