So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize