It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't EVER smell your tampon
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
