I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
