are you still at the devil's house?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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