If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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