Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
