The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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