And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
