we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
