Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
