your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I came so hard my ears popped.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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