I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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