marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize