I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
