I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
