all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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