Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
