Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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