Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
