Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
