this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
