just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
