please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
