why didn't you poke me back
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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