How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
