My cat gives me a boner
He kissed a someone with a penis
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
