her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
