So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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