she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
