I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
