i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
